July/August 2008 ARTICLES

PLEASE NOTE:  The following does not include all print articles contained in the current issue.  Pick up a copy to read Matt Young's column, to see the True Colors Tour recap, to read the music review, view the Artist's View featuring Beth Bloom of Rochester, NY,  to read this issue's Poetic Justice and to read the movie review.  Or you can subscribe to Diversity Rules! Magazine and don't miss any of the great articles contained in the publication!

EDITOR'S MESSAGE
By James R. Koury
 

Welcome to the July/August Issue of Diversity Rules! Magazine. As you can see by the front cover, more changes have come to DR! As I had mentioned in a prior issue, Diversity Rules is casting off the past and taking on a new look and feel. As part of that evolution, the logo that has served the magazine well since it’s unveiling with the November/December 2006 Issue, has been retired. Its “hip, happy look” was fine for that chapter of Diversity Rules but it is now time to shed that last vestige of the past and embark on a new path with a newer, more refined and professional looking logo.  Keep watching, as the evolution of a new logo has just
begun!

Speaking of embarking on a new direction, what is your path? I have realized that one big reason we do not know that we are moving towards greatness is that our own path at times seems boring and mundane. We tend to lament and ask, “Is there nothing better for me?” What we do not realize is that a better way cannot happen until we overcome our insecurities, our fears and become able to envision the bigger picture beyond our small tunnel vision perspectives. Our paths, OUR WAY, to our potential personal greatness unfolds in this process we call “life.”

Your “way” in life is just that - “YOUR WAY.” You’re never gonna lose your own way! If you do, you would have let someone steal it from you! Hold on to your own way with every bit of strength that you have inside of you. “Your way” is the key to your personal greatness.  “Your way” has been laid out for you to explore and conquer. Ultimate victory will be achievable if you never lose your own way once you have found it.

The path to finding “our way” sometimes is sidetracked with the decisions we make in life. It can also be hijacked by the conformists who tell you that you must follow their way, the proven way and the way “it’s always been done.” We sometimes let ourselves be swallowed up in “the way it’s always been done” for fear of rocking the boat, taking risks or just exploring new and different paradigms. RESIST their claims that you are doing it the wrong way. RESIST their
attempts to make you conform! RESIST their claims that being LGBTQ is sinful and that you need to change. How can you be living the wrong way if it is YOUR WAY; the way that was instilled in all of us at birth! Never look back. Always look forward to what you envision yourself to be. To do anything less is to die before our time, but yet still be alive, walking individuals wondering what the hell we are doing here on this Earth.

As Auntie Mame said, “Live, live, live! Life is a banquet, and most poor sons a bitches are starving to death!“  (the Lucille Ball version). YOUR WAY is buried in the banquet called life. Live!, Live!, Live! as the person you were meant to be and you shall uncover YOUR WAY.

Moving on, I want to thank the folks at grapeVine Public Relations for setting up the interview with Ken Hunt of Steel Gym. The two Steves are the BEST!

What else is there to say now but as I end each Editor’s Message, enjoy this issue, enjoy your lives and most importantly enjoy the freedom that this country offers to become whatever you want to become as OUT and PROUD LGBTQ Americans!

KEEP UP NOW
By Terry Ludwig, Inspired by her brother Robbie

How do you measure success? Is it measured by the amount of money you have obtained? Or perhaps the amount of toys you have in your possession? Some measure success by the number of friends they surround themselves with, or their position in the company they work for.

We all work very hard to be successful and each person has their own individual measure for success. In the end, however, one question remains: Are you happy?  Success can only be truly measured by the amount of happiness you experience. So the real question is: What will it take to bring you happiness?

Money, possessions, friends; these can all bring some level of console, thus resulting in a measure of comfort.  But there is more to this experience of life than mere reassurance. You deserve and are entitled to experience great happiness. The means to obtaining great happiness is simply a matter of changing your focus.

The following passage from Marianne Williamson has always inspired me to live up to that intention.

Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate,
but that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.
It is not just in some; it is in everyone.
And, as we let our own light shine,
we consciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

If you want to strengthen anything, share it. Nothing on this earth will bring you true happiness until you have learned how to give it away. What we give to others, we give to ourselves. What we withhold from others, we withhold from ourselves. This root principal also pertains to thoughts as well as deeds. What we think about others, we think about ourselves; what we do to others, we do to ourselves. This is not a metaphor, this is consciousness in action.  Does this mean that if you want a new car you have to give a new car away? Of course not; but the act of giving to others will set in motion a series of events that will bring to you all that you need, with a richness and fullness that cannot be measured by material worth.

A few years ago, I found myself in a position where it was essential that I leave my home, where I was living with my two children. I had only our clothing and one paycheck for a few hundred dollars from my last job, to my name. Unbeknownst to me, friends had been renting a home not far from the one I was living in and were currently out of state on a job assignment for an indefinite amount of time.  Within a week, they graciously offered me their rental home, completely furnished, including linens, appliances and table wear.  This generous gift gave me the opportunity
to begin a new start, once again. In addition, there were many others who were equally generous and giving who helped me through a very trying time. I will be forever grateful for their friendship and generosity.

Life will bring to you everything you need. It is like a river that flows to your door. But, like a river, if you dam it up on one end, it will stop flowing on the other. Keep the river of wealth and happiness flowing to you by continuing to share your happiness and wealth with others. There are few things on this earth that will offer you the happiness you will experience from truly giving. Give with no expectations and with no strings attached and you will keep the river of happiness and abundance flowing to your door.

Giving can start with a mere gesture, a smile perhaps. Then you will see the more you give, the happier you will become and your life will soon overflow with abundance! Keep up now, with the inner streams of consciousness flowing into your life like the river of happiness and abundance that is now yours to give away!

MAN OF STEEL

An Interview with Ken Hunt, the owner of Steel Gym in NYC

Steel Gym owner Ken Hunt has created one of New York’s ever increasingly popular workout venues, otherwise referred to as a “workout mecca.” But this gay business owner has more in mind than simply helping New Yorker’s bulk up; he’s inviting them to flex their financial muscle by giving back to various causes.

Following several fund raisers for LGBT rights and Breast Cancer Awareness non-profit organizations, along with his private donations to non-profits including GLAAD, HRC, SAGE, among others, Ken Hunt is looking to reach out his helping hand even more. By hosting additional fund raisers and awareness events such as “Miracle on 23rd Street,” a toy drive being arranged for this year’s holiday season, Ken will be able to reach out even more so by providing those needy of others’ support with the essentials they require, whether that be financing or a gift for the holidays. To learn more about Steel Gym visit www.steelgym.com.

Diversity Rules! Magazine is proud and honored to feature Ken Hunt in this issue.

JRK: How long have you owned Steel Gym? What prompted you to start the business? A 10,000-square foot, 2-floor facility in Chelsea is quite impressive!

KH: My partner and I purchased Steel Gym a little over 2 years ago. Steel Gym had been around for over 10 years and had gained a very strong reputation among serious bodybuilders and people serious about working out. As one of the few independent gyms in New York City it has a certain “vibe” that you could not find at any of the other gyms in the city. Owning the gym with my partner gave us a unique opportunity to share a unique experience. Also, I was extremely fortunate to have my very best friend join us as Director of Operations for the gym. Its not often you get to work in an industry you love with people that are more than just co-workers.

JRK: Have you always been involved in some form or fashion in the fitness industry or was this a personal passion turned profession?

KH: I was always passionate about working out and keeping in shape. Having run track and played tennis in high school and college was just the start. When I started to really work out and get bigger I got an even greater sense of motivation for the fitness industry.  Interestingly enough, many years ago I was approached by a talent scout for the WWF who asked me if I had ever considered a career in pro wrestling. At that time wrestling wasn’t the “show” that it is now, so I passed. Well, if I knew then what I know now!!! Let’s just chalk that up to a missed opportunity.

JRK: Bodybulider Victor Martinez states that Steel Gym "is the last real gym in New York." What does he mean by that?

KH: Victor has been a tremendous supporter of Steel Gym. He is at the top of his profession and admired by other bodybuilders as well as anyone who is serious about working out. So when he makes a statement that we are the last real gym in New York, what I believe he means is that we have everything it takes for someone to be successful
at achieving his or her fitness goals. When you come to Steel, you come to work out, concentrate and focus. It’s a gym—not a spa or health club.

JRK: You received a perfect "10" rating by the American Fitness Institute's 2007 Gym Survey. That speaks very highly of your commitment to your facility and to your members' health and physical fitness needs, generally.

KH: It was a great honor to receive that ranking. We are very proud of what we have been able to accomplish. Much of the credit goes to Darren Favacho, our Director of Operations, and his staff. They make sure the gym is in A-plus condition each and every day.

JRK: What do you think sets your gym apart from all the others?

KH: I believe we have a real sense of community in our gym. I think people look for a place where they feel comfortable working out. Our members range from professional bodybuilders to beginners.  We have college students, working moms, busy professionals and everyone in between. People choose Steel because we are all about working out. You won’t find people wasting time chatting or just hanging out. They come in and focus on their training routine.  Also, because we welcome independent trainers and their clients, we get a different kind of member. We don’t sell training packages. So when the trainers work directly with their clients, it’s a win-win for everyone. Our job is to provide a clean, well-run environment, with a variety of great equipment that allows them to construct the very best workout experience possible.

JRK: Many people see fitness in a purely physical sense. However, physical fitness has other benefits extending beyond the physical body. When you are training someone, how do you promote or get the idea across that a holistic approach to health and fitness is important?

KH: I think you need to look at the entire person. So many clientsare not only trying to improve themselves physically, but mentally as well. Working out is great therapy. Many times clients share the most intimate details with their trainer—especially if they trust them. And frankly, you should be able to trust that your trainer is doing the very best job to help you achieve your goals. When you begin to look better, you feel better about yourself. Your confidence grows and you find that you look at things from a much more positive and mentally healthy perspective.

JRK: What basic tips would you give someone that doesn't have a lot of time to go to a gym to workout to stay physically fit? How about those abs? How do we all get rid of the flabby abs and tighten those muscles up and get that six pack showing?

KH: Wish there was an easy answer here. Get on the treadmill or stepper at least 3 times a week for a minimum of 30 minutes. Increase the time and difficulty level every 2 weeks. Watch your diet and get plenty of rest. If you don’t have a lot of time choose 2 body parts to work and develop a routine that you can finish in 30 minutes.  Then spend the next 30 minutes doing some kind of aerobic workout. If you cant get to a treadmill, try jumping rope or doing a modified step routine.  The trick is to get your heart rate up and soon the pounds will melt and you will be saying “hello” to the six-pack you have been dreaming of.

JRK: When you do personal training, how is the training different between a man and a woman, besides the obvious physical differences?   Or is basic physical fitness technique pretty much universal between the sexes?

KH: I think you really have to spend time up front with each client to understand their strengths, weaknesses, fears, and goals. I have worked out with some women who attack the gym with a vengeance.  They are motivated, eager and focused and ready to push themselves to their limits each day. On the other hand, I have worked with men who can be shy about getting started. Perhaps they really have a long way to go to get into the shape that they want. And, as we all know, sometimes a gym can feel like a very unwelcoming place. I try to develop the best possible program for my clients based on both exercise and diet. I also work right along with them. And when I am
working out, my focus is totally on them, their form, and how they are feeling. I want them to achieve and my job is also to be their number one head cheerleader. It’s a role I am happy to play.

JRK: You are a very philanthropic individual. That's wonderful!  Did you see the gym as a vehicle to providing the means to benefit and contribute to worthwhile causes or was the ability to do such philanthropic endeavors a function of the success of Steel Gym?  Or is it a combination of both?

KH: I think we have a unique opportunity to use the gym to help support and promote worthy causes. You asked earlier what makes Steel Gym different. I would also have to say our members. They are very generous and willing to support important causes that affect all of us. Once again, we try to foster a real sense of community in our gym. We are not a big chain. We strive for a personal connection. Going to the gym shouldn’t be like driving through a fast food take-out window at McDonald’s.  I think we have the possibility to make more than just a place to work—a gym.  We have an opportunity to make a difference.
 

JRK: What are some of your favorite causes? You have done many fundraisers for many causes such as breast cancer awareness, GLADD, HRC, SAGE and others. What types of activities/promotions do you undertake for a typical fundraiser? Or is there no such thing as a "typical fundraiser?"  Maybe we can work Diversity Rules in there somehow! :-)

KH: I have many causes that are of interest to me. Certainly the ones you have mentioned, but I have a soft spot for kids battling HIV and AIDS, as well as GLBT youth that have nowhere to turn. We have plans to do some major events this fall for Help Is On The Way Now, Sylvia’s Place and Hope’s Voice International.

JRK: What do you see in your future? Are you going to expand beyond the current facility? Maybe come upstate? I wish you the best in all you do and I am sure we'll be hearing a lot more about Ken Hunt of Steel Gym!

KH: There are a lot of exciting things on the horizon. We are always looking at new and exciting business opportunities---some that would include the expansion of Steel and some that are unrelated, but just as exciting. We are looking at opportunities here in the city, but also on Fire Island and Provincetown. It’s a great time and thanks for your support and best wishes!
 

THE POLITICAL CORNER

Barack Obama for President

The historic, yet grueling, 2008 Presidential Primary season is now behind us. Senator  Barack Obama of Illinois will be the Demcratic nominee for President of the United States, the first African-American to ever become a major party's nominee. He will now face Senator John "McSame" McCain in the General Election to be held on November 4, 2008.

As LGBTQ Americans, we have a clear choice this fall. John McCain offers us a continuation of the past and George Bush's policies of exclusion. Senator Barack Obama offers an opportunity to move from the politics of division. He will be the vehicle to facilitate the change that we Americans so desparately want and need. Senator Obama will be the candidate to change the way Washington operates and one who will respect all people for who they are, regardless of race, gender, sex, or sexual orientation. He will "live up to our founding promise of equality by treating all our citizens with dignity and respect" and will work to achieve meaningful change in the way LGBTQ Americans are treated in this country.

John McCain is NO FRIEND of the LGBTQ community. He supports a continuation of the politics of exclusion and inequality. He has a proven anti-LGBTQ voting record during his tenure in the United States Senate.

OPPOSED Ending Discrimination Against LGBTQ Americans in the Workplace by casting a deciding vote against the federal Employment Non Discrimination Act (ENDA).

OPPOSED Protecting LGBT Americans from Hate Crimes and voted three times against expanding the federal hate crimes law to include sexual orientation.

PROPONENT of Discriminatory Military Policy; supporting Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell and believes gays should not serve in the military.

OPPONENT of Equal Benefits for Same-Sex Couples by voting for the Defense of Marriage Act, which prohibits same-sex couples from receiving federal rights and benefits in any state.

ACTIVELY SUPPORTED a state ban on domestic partnerships in his home state of Arizona.

SUPPORTED the Confirmation of Anti-LGBTQ Equality Judges by voting to confirm President Bush’s judicial nominees and has pointed to Justice Samuel Alito as a role model for future Supreme Court appointments.

SUPPORTED a discriminatory HIV/AIDS Policyby supporting Jesse Helms strategy to cut off funding for prevention efforts aimed at the gay community and voted to prohibit foreign nationals with HIV from immigrating to the United States.

As LGBTQ Americans, our choice for President is clear. Barack Obama, the Democratic candidate, MUST become our next President!

BETWEEN THE COVERS:  A BOOK REVIEW OF "BREATHING UNDER WATER"

By Richard Wiesenthal

Lu Vickers is a well know and prolific Lesbian writer. Her short stories and poetry have appeared in Apalachee Review, The Gay Community News, Journal of Florida Literature, Sundog, Kalliope, Calypso, Common Lives and others. Breathing Underwater is yet another coming of age novel. This time the focus is on a young girl named Lilly who needs to come to
terms with who she is. She is trapped in a dysfunctional family (who isn‘t?) with an ineffectual father and a mother who is emotionally disintegrating throughout the novel.

Lilly knows that somehow she is different. Unlike her mother who was a beauty queen and who had dreams of becoming Miss Florida, Lilly dreams of being loved and cherished on her own terms.

The story takes place in Chattahoochee, Florida in the nineteen seventies. The main employer in the town is a mental institution, and both of Lilly’s parents work for the hospital. There is an irony in this since if you were hard pressed you would find it difficult to distinguish the employers from the patients. Certainly Lilly’s mother would qualify as both employee and patient. Her progressive breakdown is chronicled during the course of the novel.

Lilly, instinctively knows that she is different from other girls her age.  Her mother senses the difference and fights strongly against it. “She’s going to send me over the edge, Dwayne”, Lilly’s mother says to her husband. “Nothing’s wrong…. She’s a tomboy….. Leave her alone,”  responds her father.

“I wondered what I’d done to make Mama think I wasn’t normal.  Maybe she’d found out that I’d broken the windows in mine and Rae’s old house, or that I’d stolen James’s underwear. I didn’t want to be normal if it meant liking Barbie dolls or swimming in shallow water the rest of my life….. “

Lilly experiments with her feelings throughout the novel. She endures the same kinds of torments and taunting that young gay boy’s experience.  Perhaps it is more subtle and even more acceptable in our culture for women to have crushes on women than for boys to have crushes on boys, but nevertheless, Lilly suffers for her choices.

Lilly’s first infatuation is with a girl her own age. Rae and Lilly find an old cabin in the woods and make it their special place. While out in the woods they experiment with their fledgling sexuality. “I dare you to take your clothes off and run outside”, Rae said to Lilly. Rae, “pulled her clothes off easily, just ripped her shirt off over her head like any boy, slid out of her pants, peeled off her underwear, left them in a pile at her feet.” Lilly says, “her nakedness startled me; her small breasts, her slim hips, her white skin; the way she stood there, waiting.  A pale blue vein snaked across her belly.“ Rae dares Lilly to do the same. “Come on! Nobody’s going to see you. Don’t be a damn sissy.”

Lilly says she couldn’t stand being called a sissy. She looks around and slowly pulls her clothes off.  She is dizzy with cold and excitement.

“Suddenly Rae charged over to me, grabbed both my hands with hers and pulled me so close, our bodies brushed together in a band of heat. …. She kissed me right on the mouth. Her lips were moist and tasted of cookies. She stopped and looked at my face and kissed me again.“

Unfortunately for Lilly, Rae goes on to experiment with boys and understands the acceptability of boy/girl relationships in a society that has little patience for variety where sexuality is concerned.  Despite Lilly’s attempts to “conform” and play sexual games with boys her age, she understands eventually that she is different, and that she desires the love of a woman. She finds that in Cat who says that being black, a lesbian, and a woman are three strikes in this society before you even start out.

What is so striking about this novel is that it parallels closely the experiences that most gay/lesbian young people have in society.  While there is more subtlety to the lesbian experience, it certainly contains all of the elements of fear, misunderstanding, loathing, parental and societal disapproval that all young people who don’t “conform” feel in their formative years. Boys may want more immediate gratification. Girls may be more willing to form relationships and look for intimacy but the universality of our experience and our desires once again makes us understand that there is more that unites us than separates us. If we could get a handle on that, it certainly would be a kinder, gentler world for all of us.

THE ENTERTAINMENT PLACE:  THE TRANQUIL BAR AND BISTRO, BINGHAMTON'S NEWEST HOT SPOT

The Tranquil Bar and Bistro opened New Years Eve, 2007 and a tranquil place has been growing ever since!

The bistro is a place for great dining in a comfortable relaxing atmosphere where all the people of the area, gay, straight, politicians, artists, musicians and friends can share great food, good drinks and good times. The name of the place indicates its relaxed mood and the setting has been compared to New York City restaurants with its exposed brick walls, modern lighting and attentive staff and yet retains its old world charm with the prior bar still in service. There are twelve tables with white table cloth service for dinner and a light lunch is served Tuesday through Friday from 11 – 2 PM.

Owners Loren Couch and Sean Massey began by looking for a place to open a coffee shop. This business and building
came up for sale and they realized it was a great opportunity in downtown Binghamton to help the area revitalize. The
building came with a parking lot across the street so customers would not have to scramble for parking. Noting that there were many places with great Italian food in the area and wanting something a little different, they decided to go with a French Bistro / International cuisine. The menu is online at www.tranquilbarbistro.com. Reservations are accepted and the restaurant has hosted birthday parties and a promotion for Sex and the City.

The kitchen is run by Chef Gene Baez who was trained at the California School of Culinary Arts and who moved to tier from Rochester. Lunch service is run by the very capable hands of Gamze Ege and all the kitchen staff turn out wonderful meals.Sean and Loren hope to open Sunday Brunch service soon and are looking for a culinary trained chef.

On Mondays the bistro will be holding open mike night from 7 to 9 with entrance of $3.50 going to the purchase of a beverage and live music beginning at 9:30 that same night. Stop by and enjoy the great food and good drinks. It’s a new place in town!

THE FINANCE SPOT

By Ed Quon

In today’s LBGTQ market, aren’t we supposed to be the ones who are more sensitive and aware? “They” say we are one of the more loyal demographic groups as well as one of the more affluent minorities. When a gay couple moves into your neighborhood, don’t the values immediately rise and suddenly the world is a better place?

Well, that is what is portrayed on the medium of transferring information called television.  A small town wanted Will and Jack from the NBC sitcom, “Will and Grace,” to move in so their home values would increase. Well, that is a positive way to start this article. Now, with this information, let’s make sure we are aware that if any of our friends are caught in today’s foreclosure nightmare, we share information.

If you know of someone who is facing foreclosure, there are some answers to help them. Share some of the following information with them and maybe you can be the person to help save their dream home. Typically by the time you know that someone is at this point, their payments are a few months behind and the attorney’s fees have started piling up. There are ways out of this mess.

* The most important thing to do is to help them understand to communicate with their creditors. Many lenders today will help refinance your loan and add the initial costs for that refinance and the back fees to the mortgage and put you in at a fixed rate.  I know Wells Fargo Home Mortgage is helping many people keep their homes by helping those who fell behind. Many times you don’t even need to put anything down on that refinance and start fresh.

* There is an FHA program called FHA Secure. This program is made for those who currently have late payments due to the market environment and will help them get a fixed rate mortgage.  You can check with your local FHA approved lender and get details.

* Contact your local town to see if they have grants that will help with anyone who may be facing the loss of their home.
* There is always the option of putting your house back on the market. This is a solution that will stop the foreclosure if they communicate with their lender and let them know what is going on. In the state of New York, the foreclosure process can take up to 12-14 months before you lose your home.

* There is a website www.nw.org. This is a website that may be able to put them in touch with a foreclosure specialist in their area.

* If the person is over the age of 62, they may be eligible for a reverse mortgage. This is a process where all leans are paid off and there are no future payments. At times you may even be able to pull equity out. This is decisioned all without looking at your credit score.

These are just a few of the ways to help anyone who may be nearing that scary term – “foreclosure." Maybe if you open up and communicate you too will be the sought after LBGTQ person for the neighborhood. Don’t you think all neighborhoods should be looking for their own token LBGTQ person or couple or family?  Wow, maybe we could even ask for a discount and come out with an LBGTQ coupon for home buying.